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This week’s episode of “Black-ish” threw us a curveball.
As Andre and Rainbow are cleaning out the garage, Andre finds one of Junior’s old baseball gloves. He reminisces about their days of playing catch together, and decides to see if Junior wants to do it again for old times’ sake, but when he walks in without knocking and discovers his son would much rather ... well, let’s just say, “use his hands for something other than catch,” Andre has to go from coach to counselor.
In “The Talk,” Junior not only is open to talking to his dad about sex, he relishes it to the point that Andre regrets ever opening the proverbial Pandora’s box.
It’s a funny twist on an old plot line.
Instead of the son being shy, Junior bombards his father with questions and generally overshares, including a shocking fantasy about Helen Mirren. Also included: millennial sex jargon and some turns of phrase that had those of us watching keeping a tab with UrbanDictionary.com open.
Here are five phrases and words we thought were in need of subtitles:
1.Hand-to-gland combat (noun)
The variety of euphemisms for masturbation can probably fill a small book, but this one, used by Andre in reference to catching his son, was new to me. As it turns out, this term is used for a specific type of self-love — the rough kind.
2.Keep it 100 (verb)
Last week’s pilot episode was called out by many for Andre choosing to say “keep it real,” a term that hasn’t been hip since the ’90s. This week, Andre tells his son he can “keep it 100” with him when talking about sex. The term has become so common in contemporary conversation, it even has its own emoji.
3.Taco meat (noun)
This expression wasn’t said in last night’s episode, but the Twittersphere was talking about Anthony Anderson’s “taco meat.” The term was used in reference to Anderson’s body hair, which bears a striking resemblance to taco meat, specifically Taco Bell ground beef. In real life, any man with taco meat hears numerous requests to put his shirt back on, because nobody wants to see that.
4.Denzel Clooney, Kodjoe Chestnut (proper names)
On the art of attracting women, Andre tells his son to find the ugliest person he can, and he will end up looking like a combination of these four movie stars. Most anyone who has seen a box-office hit will know Denzel Clooney was a reference to Denzel Washington and George Clooney. But in case you haven’t seen a Tyler Perry movie in your life, the name Kodjoe Chestnut might have thrown you for a loop. Those two names are in reference to actors Boris Kodjoe and Morris Chestnut, two handsome leading men with long resumes on IMDB. Handsome faces, to be sure, but often unfamiliar to casual movie watchers.
5.Triceratops and devil’s threesome (noun)
There was a reason both of these terms were only hinted at and not defined in full. “Black-ish” is, after all, a family sitcom, and the definitions of these terms are not fit to print. Should you feel inclined to Google these terms, we urge you to do so anywhere but the workplace or on a work computer, and afterward, do as Andre did when he searched “triceratops”: Delete your search history.
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